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umm_khadijah
15-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,
Im a bit embarrassed about speaking of this,i dont want anyone to think im crazy! insha Allah.
Basically i need some sincere advise,as i have developed what they call a 'phobia'of being sick(physically),i first developed this when i was about 14 yrs old,maybe because me and my family moved to a new area,started it off Allah hu Alim,i then used to see a councellor who i would talk it over with,i hadnt been sick for about 10-11 yrs alhamdulillah,so the phobia wasnt there as much then,but about 7 mths ago i was and it has started it all off again,im constantly worrying about it,it has even started to affect my family life,such as with my husband as im scared with him being here incase he gets ill and passes it to me,he is actually now working away, but it came realy close to divorce and the main problem behind it was this fear of mine,so i know shaytaan is having a whale of a time with it.Also i have two children alhamdulillah and im always worrying about them getting ill and if i would be able to cope when they do.Also it is starting to affect me going out,i try not to go out that much anyway,but when i do im always thinking are we going to catch anything to make us ill,whoever's reading this may be thinking this sister needs to stop worrying so much,but wallahi its not that easy,im constantly anxious about it,and it does make me depressed sometimes at the thought of it happening,even though i know it would be the Qadr of Allah.I do ask Allah to take this fear from me,and i know i have to be patient,but believe me this is so hard,and i fear it could cause more problems between me and my husband and also for my children as i would love to insha Allah send them to school when they are old enough,but the thought of them going and possibly catching something,is realy putting me off.i need to speak with someone about this problem,maybe who could tell me how to cope with it and how to get it off my mind etc,i know that Allah is the only one who can cure me of this,and what has stopped me so far of going to someone proffesional who deals with these phobias is my fear of commiting shirk,can anyone tell me if i would be doing that,and if it would be permissable to see someone,im realy desperate,before this takes over my life,which it is realy trying to do.sorry this is so long,but i would be grateful if anyone could advise me on this on how to go about it,and if it would be permissable to see a councellor to talk about this.Jazak Allah hu khairan for taking the time to read this.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

This message was edited by um_dawud on 3-30-03 @ 11:35 PM

oummou.assia
16-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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bissmillahi rahmani rahim
assalam alaykoum ya oukhti fi llah
may Allah help u through this really stressing "illness" u got.
My simple advice would be :
1) that you make your dhikr on morning ( when waking up) and evening
2) making you dhikr when you go to bed
3) also when you go out, to the toilets, etc...
and all the situations of life.
You can find this dhikr in several books which are sold in common libraries ( look for books which are only based on kitaab wa sounnah sahiha : u find the ahadith from boukhary, mouslim, etc..)
4) remember to read also ayatul Kursy before going to sleep , after you dhikr of prayer, etc...
5) make a lot of dou'a to ALLAh for what u are going through , so that He will take this off ur mind.
6) make the dou'a in the case where you are sad, or feel bad, it will really help u sis.

Also, when you have those bad thoughts, take refuge  in Allah against shaytan irrajim ( la3natou llah alayhi).
Read Qoran,it is a cure. Mostly soora al fatiha, and the last 3 ones, and ayaat from soora al baqarah.
May Allah help you remove all these shaytani wiswas.ameen
wa assalam alaykoum sis.



abu.iyaad
16-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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..--=ahamdulillaah was. salaatu was. salaamu `alaa rasoolillaah.=--..
wa. ba`ad
-----\|/-----


Naseehah

It is most likely that you have a waswasah from Shaytaan who has exaggerated the fear of sickness (illness) to you, and thus this concern in your mind has begun to pre-occupy most of your thoughts. Sometimes this can happen to people in other issues. I'll give you some examples. A sister would take an hour or so to perform wudhoo` due to  a suspicion that she had not washed her hands properly. So out of the fear of nullifying her prayer, she would go back and forth and keep washing her hands. Similarly a brother would spend up to two hours performing wudhoo, then going for prayer, then coming back and doing wudhoo again (before having even prayed) and so on, and finally he does not pray dhuhr until well after 3.00pm. So he he had a suspicion that he might have leaked some urine, and then this suspicion overwhelmed him, and led him to this strange behaviour. These cases appear to be waswasah (whispering) from Shaytaan, with an exaggerated fear of missing out on something that is `Ibaadah.

In your case however, the fear that you have is one that relates to a matter that is kawnee (a wordly affair). Firstly, you should know that Allaah is the one who brings about illness and the one who heals and cures. Thus, the  fear should not be focused around the illness or sickness, but it should be focused around Allaah `Azza wa Jall. The fear of the sickness itself should naturally follow on from the fear of Allaah, just like hope in the cure of sickness should naturally follow on from the hope of Allaah, who cures and heals.

So you need to shift the focus of your fear inshaa`Allaah ta`aalaa, and the ways to do this have been covered by the brother and sister (may Allaah reward them well) in the two posts above. Recite the Qur'aan and reflect upon it and know and understand Allaah's Names and Attributes and how they relate to the Creation, and place your reliance and trust upon Allaah, who is an-Naafi` (the one who benefits) and who is ad-Daarr (the one who causes harm). So He is to be exclusively feared and hoped in.

However, this does not mean that your fear of sickness comprises Shirk, since fear is of different types, and fear of the worldly harms is something natural to humans. In this case, it appears that the fear has been exaggerated to cause undue anxiety and worry and mental pre-occupation.

Then after that there is no harm if you seek councelling, as this is not considered Shirk, since you know that Allaah cures and heals, and you rely upon Him for that. However, you must also adopt the ways and means, and one of those ways and means, is to seek councelling from those who are worthy and fit of giving it.

Inshaa`Allaah ta`aalaa, you can also make the du`a "Allaahumma Innee A`oodhu bika min al-Hammi wal-Huzni..." which is part of the du`a in which you seek refuge in eight things. You can find it in the well-known du`a books. It translates as "O Allaah I seek refuge in you from anxiety and sadness". And as Ibn al-Qayyim explains Badaa`i al-Fawaaid, 1/446-447, al-hamm (anxiety) is worry and stress concerning something in the future and al-huzn is sorrow and grief concerning what has occurred in the past, and both of these are a form of torment and punishment of the soul. So we seek refuge from both of these.

And if any other members have any advice to give then, please come forward with it, as giving advice when a Muslim asks for it, is one of the six rights of a Muslim.

Allaah knows best. May Allaah safeguard us and you and the Muslimeen from the likes of these affairs.


.-=abu.iyaad=-.
--as.salafi--


This message was edited by abu.iyaad on 9-16-02 @ 9:39 PM

umm_abdillah
16-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalam Aleikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

JazakAllahu Khairan Bro. Abu Iyaad for the advice.

Bro. I seem to have a similar thing, and that is I fear death. Alhamdulillah, I've always thought of death often, I always strive to remember it, since the prophet (sallahu aleyhi wa sallam) adviced us to remember often, the terminator of pleasures.  But, nowadays, I fear it sooo much, and it's a very overwhelming feeling.  Because, I'm afraid to sleep for fear that the angel of death will come and take my soul.  I'm afraid to go out, for fear of being hit by a car.  I know that every soul will taste death, and that death will come to all of us, anywhere and at any time.  So my question is, how do I still live life, knowing this reality?

And the sad thing is that I find that this has not caused me to come closer to Allah, rather I seem to have less of a yearning to meet Allah.  And this is because I fear the grave and I fear that I'll die and Allah is not pleased with me.  Also, I have a young child, I fear to die and to leave him whilst his young.

Bro. Abu Iyaad or anyone please help me in dealing with this feeling.  Jazakumullahu Khairan.TextText

Alhamdulillah ala Islam wa Sunnah!

umm_khadijah
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Jazak Allah hu khairan brother Iyaad for the excellent naseehah,and also to the other replies,may Allah reward u all with jannah for your efforts ameen.
Brother Iyaad u almost brought tears to my eyes with what u said as it is so true.I will take all of your advice insha Allah,i know i have to increase more in du'a and dhikr insha Allah and try to become more patient,may Allah help me.
As i said in my message this is causing alot of problems in my life,sometimes it realy seems unbearable,especially when i think of it happening and i know i shouldnt look to the future as Allah is the only knower of the Ghaib(unseen).And it makes me very upset.I think a brother replied and mentioned me telling my husband,this is very hard for me,as with him knowing,it would make me much more anxious,as he would then be aware of my fear,but i have considered telling him but im not sure if he would properly understand,Allah hu Alim,maybe if Allah makes me strong i will insha Allah.
Brother Iyad,u said that it would be permissable for me to seek councelling,are u sure i would not be committing shirk by doing this,as i would be asking them for help,but like i said i know Allah is the only one who can cure me,and if they were to help me at all,my thanks would all be to Allah.Also i read about another woman who had the same fear and she underwent hypnotherapy treatment,which she said helped her to get over her phobia alot,i have wanted to know for a while if this is permissable or not,please could u find out for me?Jazak Allah hu khairan for the advice.


Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

ummmarwan
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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assalamu alaikum, (for umm_abdillah) There is a very good article on the need to balance fear with love and hope at salafipublications.com article ID no. SCL010003 by Abu Iyaad.

umm_abdillah
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalam Aleikum Warahmatullah

JazakAllahu Khairan Umm marwan for the article.  BarakAllahu Fik.

Assalam Aleikum  

Alhamdulillah ala Islam wa Sunnah!

ibn.muhammad
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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I think the article you are talking about umm marwan is another one. The one on Fear and Hope is here.

http://www.spubs.com/sps/sp.cfm?subsecID=TRB01&articleID=TRB010001&articlePages=1

It is an excellent article from al-Ibanah of Ibn Battah I think.

This message was edited by ibn.muhammad on 9-17-02 @ 5:44 PM

ummsaad
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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as-salamu alaikum sisters umm abdillah and umm khadijah,
I can relate to what you are goind through.  I used to get panic attacks when I was five years old when I would think about dying.  My oldest son also would not be able to sleep if he thought about dying.  He also used to get the whispering from the shaiytan when he made wudu and would repeat it several times until his brothers stopped waiting for him to lead them, and they would pray without him. This doesn't happen anymore, alhamdu lillah, since I taught him the dthikr for the bathroom.  We always say the ayatul- kursy after salat and after fajr and maghrib and before bed.  We make the muwadathaan after fajr and maghrib salat and before sleeping.  I read them for my smaller children that can't talk yet. One of my sons would have night terrors before I taught him to say the ayatul-kursy before bedtime.  You have to watch the little children when they go to the bathroom to make sure that they make the du'a, clean themselves properly, and make wudu when they finish.  When my family moved into this new apartment our childrens' room was a jinns' playground until we spent our first Ramadaan in here, and we read the suratul Baqarah.
When you go to sleep at night make the du'as and dthikr.  You can find them in sahih muslim capter 17 in the Book of Dthikr, and Du'a, and Repentance and Forgiveness.  
Remember that Allah says, "O you who believe seek help through patient perserverance and prayer: Allah is with the patient." [Quran surah 2, ayah 153}
And always remember that Allah says, "Allah doesn't burden a person beyond what he can bear.  He gets reward for that good which he has earned, and he is punished for that evil which he has earned."  [surahtul-Baqarah, ayah 286]  The Messenger said,"Whoever recited the last two verses of Suratul-Baqarah at night, that will be sufficient for him."
Abu Saeed Al-Khudri reported that Allah's Messenger (sallAllahu alaihi was-salam)said,"The prophets are afflicted the most, then the righteous.  Indeed, one of them would be tested with poverty, so that he would not be able to wear anything but a coarse cloak.  And indeed, they used to be pleased with afflictions as you would with comfort." [ see Al-Albani in as-sahihah no. 144]
Suhayb reported that the messenger(sallallahu alaihi was-salam) said, "Indeed, amazing is the affair of the believer.  If he is granted ease of living, he is grateful, and this is best for him.  And if he is afflicted with hardship, he perserveres, and this is best for him." [sahih muslim]
The Messenger (sallAllahu alaihi was-salam) said, "By Him in whose hand is my soul, Allah does not ordain a decree for a believer but it is for his good; and this merit is for no one except a believer.  If he is granted ease of living, he is thankful; and this is best for him.  And if he is afflicted with a hardship, he perseveres and this is best for him." [sahih Muslim]  
Aaisha reported, " I heard the Messenger (sallAllahu alaihi was-salam) saying: There is no calamity that befalls a believer, even if it is the pricking of a thorn, that there is decreed for him by Allah a reward or his sins are obliterated." [sahih muslim]
So don't be so upset.  The Prophet (sallAllahu alaihi was-salam) said, "Whenever Allah wills good for a person, He subjects him to adversity."[Bukhari]

umm_khadijah
17-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Jazak Allah hu khairan for the reply sister Umm Saad.And the good words of advice.When shaytaan sees a weakness in someone,he tries his utmost best to cause that person fear and confusion,A'uthu Billahi minash shaytaani rajeem.Please keep me and the sister in your du'as,i will keep u both in mine insha Allah ta'Ala.
Take Care

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

Abu-Mariam
18-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Bismillah

Assallaamu alaikum warahmatullah

Dear sisters I pray to Allah Azza wa Jal that He cures both of your conditions and eases for you both your hardships and your doubts.  Ameen.

I am by profession solely a drug educator now but have been a counsellor in the past.  Alhumdulillah.

I will split this message into two segments.  The first segmet will be for our sister Umm Khadijah and the second segment for Umm Abdillah inshaAllah.

Naseeha For Umm Khadeeja:

1) As our brother Abu Iyaad mentioned earlier that it is ok for you to seek aid in a counsellor inshaAllah.  As when you have something wrong with your body wether it be a flu, a rash whose origin is unknown to you then we go to the doctor to seek some form of aid that Allah has allowed them to give us.  Also as a counsellor I hope that I was not an aid for anyone to commit shirk. A'oothu billah.  

2) With regards to you being afraid of getting ill then as has been mentioned earlier if it is written for you to fall ill then Qadar Allahu masha fa'al.  Ukhti fillah think of it this way inshaAllah - We know that illnesses are a form of purification, hence the dua 'la ba'as tahurun inshaAllah' (never mind may it (the illness) be a purification if Allah wills).  If we were not to fall ill then how many extra sins would we taking to our graves with us.  A'oothu billah.  So instead of seeing it as something to fear inshaAllah try and see it as an opportunity  for some of your sins to be forgiven.  

3) With regards to your children I know not how old they are.  However if one or both of them are under the age of two then it is very likely that they may fall ill due to teething and so on.  We also know that inshaAllah with every illness their immune system gets stronger for when they are older.  This is how the concept of immunisations work inshaAllah.

So to finish ukhti fillah I advise you to fear Allah and to put your trust in Him and to have patience as Allah says 'Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can take', and that 'Verily Allah is with those who have patience' also 'And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient.  Who when afflicted with a calamity say: Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon {Truly! To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return}

This is the second of the two segments for Ukhtuna Umm Abdillah.

Allah says in the Quraan that 'every soul shall taste death' (Surah Ali-Imraan 3:185).  So therefore we know that it is a reality which will come to pass.  However what we do not know is when it will come to pass.  So inshaAllah I advise you with the following:

1) Firstly you fear Allah and also put your trust in Him.  We ask Allah for many things in life a suitable husband/wife, Jannat-ul-Firdous, Good health (both mental and physical), so what is wrong with us asking for a long life especially where are our children are concerned.  I say this as a father myself WAllahi I cringe at the thought of dying while my children are so young, with the way that the world is around us.  A'oothu billah.  However this is where the trust in Allah comes into play firstly that inshaAllah He does not take your life and secondly even if He did inshaAllah He would replace you with someone better for him.  

2) Ukhti fillah the prophet of Allah stated that the body has rights over you, Allah has created the night for sleep, by keeping yourself awake with the worry of death it makes it harder for the body to recover from the exertions of the day both physically and mentally, so it is no wonder you are at this moment distant from Allah.  even if you mentally knew and wanted to pray you may be unable to due the fatigue your body is feeling.  I would assume that you are probably not eating well either (Umm Khadijah also) this also can have adverse affects upon the body and mind, as good physical and mental health inshaAllah can aid your ibaadah of Allah.  

3) O my sister in Islaam I know not if it is the moment of death you fear or the reckoning or what but I will narrate to you from the long Hadeeth reported in Sahih al-Jaami, reported by Ahmad and others on the authority of Al-Baraa' ibn 'Aazib (radiAllahu anhumma) who said:

"...Then he (the Prophet sallallaahu alaihi wassallam) said 'When the believing servant is leaving this world and going on to the Hereafter, angels with white faces - as if their faces were the sun - descend upon him.  With them is a shroud from the shrouds of Jannah and perfume for embalming from the perfumes of Jannah, so they sit away from him at the distance the eye can see and then the Angel of Death (alaihis salaam) comes and sits by his head and says, 'O good soul, come out to forgiveness from Allah and His good pleasure.  He (sallallaahu alaihi wassallaam) said 'So it comes out just as a drop flows out from the mouth of the drinking vessel, and he takes it, but does not leave it in his hand for the blink of an eye until they take it and place it in that shroud and that perfume, and there comes out from him a smell like that of the best musk found upon the face of the earth..."
So here we can see that although death is a thing we should fear and remember it can also be so beautiful and gentle (who would ever think of death as such) but this is a hadeeth and we know that the Prophet never spoke from himself, rather only that which was revealed.  Allahu a'lam.

So here inshaAllah I will finish my naseeha to you Ukhti Umm Abdillah with the ayah of Allah from Surah al-Mulk where Allah Azza wa jal says

'(He) Who has created death and life, that He may test which of you is best in deed.  He is the All-Mighty, the Oft-Forgiving.  

Also to have patience as Allah says 'Allah does not burden a soul with more than it can take',

and that 'Verily Allah is with those who have patience'

also 'And certainly We shall test you with something of fear, hunger, loss of wealth, lives and fruits, but give glad tidings to the patient.  Who when afflicted with a calamity say: Inna lillaahi wa inna ilaihi raaji'oon {Truly! To Allah we belong and to Him we shall return}  

All of the above Ayaat can be found in Surah al-Baqarah.

Please if I have typed anything incorrect please correct me brothers and sisters.  As any mistakes are from me and far removed is Allah from any deficiences.

Subhana kallaahumma wa bi hamdika ash hadu Allaah ilaaha illa anta wa astagfiruka wa tubu ilayk.

Wassallaamu alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuhu
Naseeha For Umm Khadeeja:

umm_abdillah
18-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalam Aleikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh

I thank Allah subhanAllah wa ta'ala for giving me an ease in my heart.  InshAllah I pray that makes me of those who worship Him upon Love, Hope and Fear.  Ameen.
My dear brothers and sisters, I like to tell you all Jazakumullahu Khairan.  May Allah lift from you all burden from the burdens of this dunia and akhirah, as you have lifted my burden by these wonderful reminders. And, I asked Allah to cure our dear sister Umm Khadijah, and those of the muslims who have similar feelings.  Alhamdulillah for Islam and the bond that Allah has established between us all.  
And lastly may Allah unite us all in paradise, as we have united upon Sunnah and Salafiyah.
BarakAllahu Fikum.

Assalam Aleikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh.

Alhamdulillah ala Islam wa Sunnah!

umm_khadijah
18-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Assalamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Jazak Allah hu khairan brother,for the advice,it has realy made me think alhamdulillah.And alhamdulillah,over the last couple of days i have been supplicating more and making dhikr and i have actually found myself a bit more relaxed,and my mind hasnt been as occupied as much as it usually is,infact it is the remembarance of Allah,Azza wa'jal,that is helping me to be a bit more stronger,mentally and the way i think of things,subhanAllah.Sister i have also asked Allah to cure u and to ease your worrying,i so much hope that he makes things easy for u ameen
Also by the way brother,can u tell me if hypnotherapy is permissable in islam,as i read of one woman who had the same fear as me and she had said that it realy helped her,i would be realy grateful if u could answer that for me insha Allah.
And also another question,would u advise me to seek councelling from a muslim association,if there are any in UK,or would u advise me to go to a kaafir?At first i thought it would be best to go to a muslim councellor,but im a bit worried because i thought for all i know that person could be sufi/shi'a etc,and i realy do not want to get misguided,A'uthu Billah.What do u advise?
I would be very grateful for a response,and also if u know of any contacts who could help me(councellors etc)
Jazak Allah hu khairan.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

Abu-Mariam
18-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Bismillah

Assallaamu alaikum

With regards to hypnotherapy then I know not of any references to this from the Sunnah.  So therefore I will suffice to say that Allah knows best.  

With regards to wether you should go to a muslim or kaafir counsellor then I will say inshaAllah it is better for you to go to a Muslim counsellor.  Why do I say this?  It is that most counsellors use the 'Person Centred' model of working.  They will remove you from your Lord when you talk about your 'problems' and when you say 'Allah or God has made it possible for me to do so and so' they will respond by saying 'no it was you, not Allah or God or anyone for that matter'.  I have more or less experienced this for myself in my time as a counsellor.  A'oothu billah.  WAllahu a'lam.  

InshaAllah ask the maktaba if they have any info regarding Muslim counsellors or alternatively you can ask your GP to refer you to a specialist taking into account your cultural and faith(spiritual) needs.

I will in the mean time see what I can locate for you in the form of therapists that may be suitable for you inshaAllah.  As I know of none from the top of my head as I live and work in London.

InshaAllah keep up the ibadah and continue in your patience and trust in our Lord The Most High.  Generally what kind of area are you located in or are close to in Birmingham, where you could travel to with ease for your therapy inshaAllah?  As like London Birmingham is a large city.

Wassallaamu alaikum warahmatullah

Abu Mariam al-Atharee

umm_khadijah
19-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

I live in the Bordesley Green area of B'ham,its next to Small heath about 10 mins walk from there,its not that far from the city centre.The postal area is B9.
I was hoping and im not sure if i would be able to,to find someone who does home visits,as its realy awkward as ive got two children under 2,and its not realy possible to leave them with other sisters as theyve all got children themselves.Im very grateful to u,for  trying to help,may Allah reward u for all your efforts ameen.Insha Allah i hope i can find a muslim councellor,its quite hard though,dont want to have to end up going to a kaafir.Jazak Allah hu khairan.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

ummsaad
19-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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as-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,
No doubt, sister Khadijah must ask the people of ahl-ul-ilm for the answer to her problem.  I have a few questions of my own. Isn't there a difference between giving naseehah and giving a fatwa?  Aren't we allowed to give general, sincere advice to our brothers and sisters in Islam, without considering ourselves to be scholars? Aren't we as muslims supposed to consult other muslims in our affairs? I know that I am no student of knowledge, but I am a muslimah with experiences similar to these, and I have been to the students of the scholars, and I am trying to relate what worked for me and give some general advice from what I know is saheeh.  
Also,I do have the numbers to four students of knowledge, and I can get someone who speaks Arabic to ask for the sister, but I have to get my husband to ask someone else more knowledgeable  than these four before I direct her to anyone. And shouldn't she get permission from her husband before anyone else helps her? I know for a fact that my husband would be disturbed if another woman's husband asked about a very personal problem of mine before he did.  
Can we as women ask the scholars questions and follow their advice without our husbands knowing anything about it, especially when we seek to go out of the house to get medical help?
This is a serious problem for me, asking questions.  I could walk around for years with a question, all the time being afraid to ask the wrong person or to even get avice from anyone.  I have a few questions now that I will not put on this forum, so I ask Allah to help me in clarification and I hope I can have patience.
la hawla wala quwatta illa billah.

umm_khadijah
19-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Posts: 23
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wa alaykum assalam wa rahamtullahi wa barakatuhu,

Im grateful for the replies from both yemeni salafi and Umm Saad,Jazak Allah hu khairan.
I would like this question to be put to the people of knowledge insha Allah.But what Umm Saad asked about my husband having to know first,this i would like to know.
Like i said before for my husband to know about this fear,i think may make things worse,with regards to the anxiety etc,and also i would find it very hard to tell him,only my mum knows about this from when it started when i was younger and a sister who i confided in.
But obviously if the ruling is that he has to know first then i have no choice but to tell him insha Allah.Sister Umm Saad,i would be very grateful if when this question is clarified(about whether i have to tell my husband)if your husband would be able to put the question to the students of knowledge,i have been wanting to do that for a while but have not known how to do it.Jazak Allah hu khairan.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

ummsaad
20-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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dear sister khadijah,
as-salamu alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatu,
insha Allah I will have him call and ask about this situation if your husband should be informed before you get help for a medical problem.  You can ask questions directly to the scholars when they are on the paltalk giving lectures. Subhan Allah, my husband just asked shaikh Ubaid Al-Jabiry a question at the end of one of his dars, and he was told to ask the next day, but the question he was going to ask has already been resolved alhamdu lillah.  It's easy when you can understand Arabic.  I don't speak Arabic that well so I have to always rely on him to go ask for me.
I will let you know as soon as I can, insha Allah.

Sunnah
20-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Posts: 50
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yemanisalafi, jazakallahu khair for your advice, alhamdulillah we should stick and refer to the scholars for fatwaas. just a little point though, you should distinguish between naseehah and fatwaa. The sister asked for naseehah and all the brothers and sisters gave her naseehah, not "fatwaa". A fatwaa is a legal ruling derived from the Book and the Sunnah to a specific situation. Naseehah is giving advice, direction, tips, consultation, support in an affair etc. I don't think anyone issued a fatwa, but they gave the sister advice to make du'a, turn to Allaah, recite the qur'an, understand where this problem is coming from etc. Of course, if she wants a legal ruling or "fatwaa" concerning a specific aspect of her problem, she can and should ask the scholars. But please make that distinction between naseehah and fatwaa. Alhamdulillah she found the words of support and advice helpful, and if anyone else has naseehah they should give it.

umm_khadijah
20-09-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Posts: 23
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wa alaykum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu,

Jazak Allah hu khairan Umm Saad for the reply.
I have failed to mention in my posts,that my husband does actually know i have this phobia(fear)but he doesnt actually know what exactly the phobia is(what im actually scared of)i did tell him a while ago,and i tried explaining what phobias are,not sure if he realy understood Allah hu Alim,i did tell him then that i wanted to get help for it,and he seemed fine about that.Its only now that im trying to get help as i recently had a baby and havent had the time.Im grateful for your help.

Assalamu Alaykum wa rahmatullah.

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