|sajid_chauhan_81||-- 07-30-2008 @ 6:55 PM|
As salaamu alaykum ikhwaan wa akhwaat,
Does anyone know of any book, article, tape,etc. (in any language inshAllaah) where the rights and duties of a daughter-in-law with respect to her parents-in-law and vice-versa are discussed?
In case someone has heard one of the Ulema speak about it then that would also suffice inshAllaah.
wa salaamu alaykum,
|asifhusain||-- 08-03-2008 @ 6:45 AM|
As Salaam Alykum Wa Rahmatullahi Wa barakatu.
Question: I am a woman who takes care of my husband's father. He is alone and has no one except my husband (to take care of him). Do i have the right to bathe him and watch him?
Answer: As for your service in taking care of your husband's father then this is an issue that you should be thanked for since this is from AL-IHSAAN (doing good deeds)towards this older man and it is from AL-IHSAAN towards your husband as well. You can bathe him except for washing his private parts. Concerning the private parts if he is able to wash himself then he should. It is not permissible for you to wash him but if he cannot then there is no harm in you washing him with the condition that you wear gloves so that you do not touch at his actual private areas just as you must lower your gaze and not look at his privates. This is because it is not permissible for you to look at the private parts of any adult except for your husband and the same goes for him.
Fatwaa ash-Shaykh Muhammad as-Saalih al'uthaymeen (2/775)
O Allaah, Lord of Jibraeel, Meekail, Israfeel.Maker of the Heavens & the earth. You judge between your slaves regarding in which they differ. Guide me to the truth in which there is difference, by Your leave. Suerly, You guide whomever you please to the straight path. (Muslim 1/534)
|sajid_chauhan_81||-- 08-04-2008 @ 2:02 PM|
JazakAllaah khayr akhee.
This does give an indication of the rights/duties. InshAllaah if someone has anything else then please keep them coming.
It will be better if one of the Ulemaa or Duaat can give a lecture or perhaps write a short treatise on this topic and mention the proofs from Qur'aan and Ahadeeth.
|Adnaan.ibn.Salman||-- 08-07-2008 @ 10:51 PM|
Here are some audio clips from a Q&A session with Sh Al-Anjaree some years ago where he discusses these issues.
There is a lot from the 'Ulemaa on these issues and inshaa Allaah I will try to add to this post as and when I am able.
|Adnaan.ibn.Salman||-- 08-07-2008 @ 11:17 PM|
From Sh Ibn Uthaimeen (rahimahullaah):
|Adnaan.ibn.Salman||-- 08-07-2008 @ 11:44 PM|
Here are some more relevant audio clips from Sh Ubayd and Sh Falaah respectively:
|sajid_chauhan_81||-- 06-29-2010 @ 3:38 AM|
Q: I am Egyptian and I currently live in Riyadh while my wife and children reside in Egypt. Though my wife is not beautiful, I am more concerned with the beauty of her character. My wife, all praise be to Allah Alone, guards my honor in my absence, looks after my children, urges them to pray and memorize Qur'an, teaches them to do the Halal (lawful) things and to avoid the Haram (prohibited). Moreover, my wife always encourages me to provide for my family. All praise be to Allah Alone, I fulfilled my duty perfectly towards my siblings and they all have become university graduates. My youngest brother is an engineer and he got married one week ago. My father (may Allah be merciful with him) would frequently make Du'a' (supplication) for me to the extent that my mother would ask him to make Du'a' for my siblings as he would for me. My father would make much Du'a' for me because I was sincere to him and all the family members to the extent that I would give priority to their needs over my children. I still provide for my mother and send to her a monthly allowance, clothes, etc. Allah (Exalted be He) helped me to buy farm land which I gave to my mother and sisters to live off its revenue as I believe that it is Wajib (obligatory) on me to provide their maintenance.
The problem is that my mother, may Allah guide her, always criticizes my wife for her physical weakness and not being beautiful. She ridicules the illness of my mother-in-law, though the latter is my mother's sister as I am married to my cousin. Moreover, my mother also criticizes my wife for her father's poverty and mentions that he did not use to have a house and that he would be driven out from one house to another, though my father-in-law is a righteous person and Allah has blessed him with a house in an excellent location that costs about one hundred and fifty thousand pound. One of his children is a university graduate and works as an Imam (the one who leads congregational Prayer) and Khatib (preacher) while the rest of his children are in different stages of study. My father (may Allah be merciful with him) would not be pleased with such behavior from my mother. He would have forbidden her to say bad things about my wife and her family and would console my wife; however, he passed away a year ago. Now I live abroad in order to earn a living and provide for my children and my mother that Allah may bless me with educating my children as I educated my siblings. Sadly, my mother humiliates my wife. She shouts at her in front of our neighbors. She once even took off her shoe to beat my wife with in front of the neighbors and my children. My wife complained to my paternal uncle, but he could not do any thing; I have only one maternal uncle and he cannot control his sister who does not listen to anybody. Regrettably, my children hate my mother because of what she does to their mother. When I try to tell them good things about my mother they say, "She did so and so against our mother and she does not show us any kindness." My mother always ill-treats my children. O honorable sheikh, please advise me and tell me what do I have to do to avoid displeasing my mother and thus losing out in this life and the Hereafter? Similarly, what should I do in order not to lose my wife whom I know being wronged? May Allah reward you with the best.
A: If the case is exactly as you have mentioned in the question, you have firstly to advise your wife to show love and kindness to your mother, to try to please and serve her, and to endure with patience your mother's offenses. You must tell your wife that when she does these things, you become more pleased with her and you love her more. Then you have to send mediators to advise your wife with the same. Such mediators have to remind your mother that she has to keep the limits of Allah, and tell her that what she does against her daughter-in-law is something Haram that may subject her to Allah's displeasure and punishment in this world and in the Hereafter.
Mediators may tell your mother that your wife praises her, mentions good things about her, and acknowledges her status. They may tell her that rebuking your wife for her physical weakness and not being beautiful and ridiculing her mother and father are Haram practices which if she persists in doing so Allah may punish her with the same in this world and in the hereafter. They may also tell her that things she rebuke them for relate to the Predestination of Allah that they have no power to change and that instead of mocking them, she has to praise Allah for not afflicting her with the same and for the good health and abundant blessings He (Glorified be He) bestows upon her. Moreover, she has to make Du'a' that Allah cures them. In addition, you may politely advise your mother in private and pave the way for this by magnifying her rights and doing your best to be dutiful to her and try to please and make her happy. Above all, you have to make Du'a' that Allah (Exalted be He) makes peace between your mother and your wife. Finally, you must be patient seeking the reward of Allah and waiting for His relief (Exalted be He).
May Allah grant us success! May peace and blessings be upon our Prophet Muhammad, his family and Companions!
Permanent Committee Fatwas Group 1, part 25, pg. 204