Inna hamda-lillaah wa salat wa salamu 'ala rasoolillah wa ala alihe wa ashabihe ajma'een, wa ba'ad:
I would like to know if there is any thing from the sunnah regarding what should be the relationship of the wives in a plural marriage(ta'adud). Is it proper for them to not have anything to do with one another or should they interact on a regular basis and things similar to this? I have not heard a lot regarding the affair of ta'adud in the deen and how one should go about practicing this wonderful ni'amah from Allaah Tabarak wa Ta'ala. What should the husband do to help nurture the situation? As many brothers have come to find out it is not a very easy matter these days amongst our women. There reasons for having an aversion to it are plenty, one of them being that they have heard so many stories and seen so many situations that were not good. As a result we find situations where sisters are "co-wives" being tried by the masses. For the most part it is due to ignorance. On another note it has to do with the way a lot of the women were "brought up" here in the west. They have the mind-set that it is a sign of disrespect and lack of love in the relationship. Even worse then that they are challenged by other sisters to get out of the "mess" that they are in.
So my concern lies in the area of what type of relationship should the women have with one another. Is it acceptable for them to "boycott" one another due to irreconcilable differences? When I say boycott I use the term loosely. I don't think that they actually stop giving each other the rights of returning salaam and what have you. They may not call one another up. They may not visit one another and they may just outright appear not to be able to get along. It can be said by either one that I "ain't done nothin to her for her to be actin like that" or "she is the one who is trippin" etc., etc. This is the commonality that I have found amongst a lot of brothers that I have spoken with regarding their conditions with plural marriage and the behavior of the women in it. This is not to say anything against our women because Allaah has given us the best of the women of this DUNYA, WALHAMDULILLAH!! I also want to add that at times we as men may contribute some of the friction, wallahu ta'ala 'alum.
So with all of that said can anyone shed some light on the matter for brothers who are very concerned with the well being of their families.
Jazakumallah fi kulli khair
Subhanakallahumma wa bihamdika ashadu-anlaa ilaha ila anta wastaghfiruka wa atoobu alayke.
"Falyahhtharil lathina yukhalifuna 'an amrehe an Tuseebahume fitnatune aw yuseebahume 'athabune aleem" Sura An-Noor-Ayah 63...So Let those who oppose the Messenger's order beware that they will be stricken by some affliction or suffer a painful torment
abu.jameelah.m
16-02-2003 @ 12:00 AM
