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Topic: Marriage
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 Ruqqiyyah
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Ruqqiyyah Salaam
(new Jersey)
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Member
Posts: 1
Joined: Nov 2005
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As Salaamu Alaikum,
I am sure this question has been asked before, however after searchinf Quran and Hadith I could not find a clear answer to my question. I wanted to know if it is permissable for my Muslim father to marry me to a Muslim brother that is incarcerated, I have been married prior. Please if you could provide me some Ayats or hadith, that supports your answer.
Shurkran
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| ummi1428
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Umm Zahidah Brentana bint James
(Anchorage, alaska)
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Member
Posts: 8
Joined: Feb 2008
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bismillahir rahmanir raheem,
as salaamu alaikum wa rahmatullah,
we also have a question similar to this and are in need of answers barakaAllahu feekum.
a sister would like to offer herself to a brother who is incarcerated in another state. (she wants to
offer herself to him based on emotional support and encouragement in her deen) she knows that
she cannot have a physical relationship with him, nor is he capable of caring for her financially (the
sister has to work as it is already) but she wants to be able to speak to him on the telephone and
thru letters in an appropriate manner. his deen is sound. she knew the brother from prior
aquaintance. he has about 5 years sentence.
hopefully that is enough detail:
question:
1. is it permissible for the two to marry given the above circumstances?
2. (if yes) how can she marry him? does her wali have to go to the prison to give her consent?
basically, has anyone been in this situation and how is it done?
*note: no muslim male relatives other than a son who has not attained puberty.
jazakAllahu Khair
Umm Zahidah
Anchorage, AK
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| Taufique
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Taufique Aziz
(West Chester/Phila, PA)
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Member
Posts: 7
Joined: Mar 2009
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Assalamualaikum,
Iım not fond of posting on forums (and even on this site I posted only once before) but I couldnıt stay away from not giving advice on this particular thread.
Alhamdulillah, I try my best to stay upon the Manhaj of As-Salaf us-Saalih and also preach from whatever little I know bi idhnillah. And I ask Allah that you understand my sincere advice and will think about things deeply before taking such steps...
Let me ask just one question, InshAllah ı What is the goal/purpose of marriage in Islam?
Allah says:
And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Ar-Room 30:21]
We all know that Allah created us with desires and the ONLY legal way to fulfill our desires is through marriage. So why do we get married?
i) To protect our chastity
ii) To procreate
iii) To have that peace in our hearts being in a relationship filled with affection & mercy
Are these things met in such a marriage?
Something not directly related to this question but kind of similar that should help those who have wisdom.
Sheikh Albaanee (rahimullah) was asked about misyaar marriage. Misyaar marriage is when the woman from her own will forgoes some of her rights. E.g a woman may tell a man ıok Iım willing to marry you and you donıt have to provide for my maintenance and you donıt need to meet me everydayı.
And Sheikh Albaanee (rahimullah) said misyaar marriage is Haraam for two reasons:
i) The purpose of marriage is repose as Allah says: And among His Signs is this, that He created for you wives from among yourselves, that you may find tranquility in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect. [Ar-Room 30:21]
But this is not achieved in this kind of marriage.
ii) It may be decreed that the husband has children with this woman, but because he is far away from her and rarely comes to her, that will be negatively reflected in his childrenıs upbringing and attitude.
[Ahkaam al-Ta3addud fi Dawı al Kitaab was Sunnah pg. 28-29].
Going back to the question in handıyes itıs true you will have ıhalaalı access to a member of the opposite gender. You can talk, call, maybe even go visit during visiting hours. However, you need to think about things much more deeply. Exchange of letters/phone calls will obviously be filled with sweet wordsıand sweet words will slowly develop in the need to have oneıs natural desires fulfilled. And how is that going to be taken care off?
The state of Muslims all over the world is poor and the state of those who ascribe themselves to Daıwatus Salafiyyah is also poor in certain issues.
I have been doing Daıwah work for nearly 3 years around the Philadelphia area and it breaks my heart to see the amount of family problems that exist in families who claim to be following the way of Prophet sallallaahu ıalayhi wa sallam and his Companions.
And wallahi I am saying this not to mock or criticize but because I care for my brothers and sisters and donıt want them to, Allah forbid, end up transgressing against one another. Sisters get into such a marriage and then donıt realize what over takes them and go around getting another man in a Haraam way. Brothers who cannot afford even one wife are running around trying to get a 2nd!
I wish my brothers and sisters would realize that marriage is not a joke. Look very carefully at the beautiful and most perfect Shareeıah of Allah ıAzzawajal. So many Laws revolve around the Family Structure. Doesnıt that say something? Marriage is an extremely sacred relationshipıa lifelong commitment bi idhnillah.
Unfortunately we have men and women who think they can marry whenever they want and divorce whenever they want and as many times as they want. Is this what the Salaf used to do?
Look at what Allah tells the believing men -
And let those who find not the financial means for marriage keep themselves chaste, until Allah enriches them of His Bounty. [Noor 24:33]
SubhanAllah! Fine we need to protect our chastity and so let's just jump into a marriage. But is that what marriage in Islam is all about? Only fulfilling our desires and no sense of responsibility/trust/affection/mercy??
No one said getting married is easyıno one said that finding a spouse who is truly committed to the Sunnah is easyıbut at the same time let me remind you that one of Allahıs Names is As-Saboor! So do you think having sabr (i.e. being patient) is a bad quality? Not at all!
Rather, Allah has promised in more than one occasion ı and indeed Allah is with those who are patient -
So my sisters, let me tell you again that I am not mocking/criticizing your intentions in any way what so ever. I only ask Allah that He gives more wisdom to my brothers & sisters who are upon Daıwatus Salafiyyah to truly understand the sacredness of marriage and look to enter such a bond in the most beneficial manner.
There are enough single brothers, InshAllah, who are outside of prison. Make sincere duaıa to Allah, be persistent in your duaıa and BE PATIENT! Allah will surely aid you in finding a true Muslim man firm on the Sunnah.
This is only my advice...at the end of the day the decision is yoursıbut please do think things through...and think in terms of long-term benefits and not just short-term.
We Salafis really need to get our act together when it comes to ıfamily lifeıı
May Allah rectify all of our affairs and make us firm in every single aspect of the Sunnah.
NOTE: This is not some fatwa! As Muslims we are supposed to give naseehah to one another and that is what I did hereınothing more, nothing lessıbi idhnillah.
Whatever good I said is from Allah 'Azzawajal and whatever bad I said is my own mistake.
BarakAllahuFeekum,
Assalamualaikum
Taufique Aziz
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28-03-2009 @ 3:04 AM
10-04-2009 @ 11:53 AM
15-04-2009 @ 9:27 AM