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Topic: Rights of Parent who is an Apostate
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 Asmaa.Umm.Hind
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UmmHind Asmaa Bint Dawud
(DC Metro Area)
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Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Feb 2004
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As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakaatuhu,
I have a question that I would like for one of the students to pose to the shyukh, Insha'Allah.
What are the rights of a parent who has apostated from Islam? Does he/she have the same rights as a parent who is kaffir (having never been muslim) with regard to having respect for them and maintaining the ties of kinship?
Jazakumallahul Khayr
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| Moosaa
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Abul-'Abbaas Moosaa ibn John Richardson
(Jeddah, Saudi Arabia)
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Member
Posts: 1280
Joined: Sep 2002
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Shaykh Saalih al-Fawzaan (may Allaah preserve him) was asked:
[Q33]: I accepted Islaam three months ago, and I have two disbelieving parents. How do I interact with them? And am I supposed to hate them in an all-inclusive way?
He replied:
[A33]: Interacting (with them) is to be done as Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic, has said:
"You do not find any people who believe in Allaah
and the Last Day loving those who have opposed
Allaah and His Messenger, even their own fathers."
So you are to hate them for Allaah's sake, the Mighty and Majestic. And as for kindness, being dutiful and kind to them, then Allaah the Exalted has said:
"And if they strive to make you ascribe partners with Me,
that which you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them,
and accompany them in the worldly life with kindness."
This is from the angle of repaying kindness. So the parent has the right to kindness and good treatment. However, as for loving them in one's heart, then do not ever love the disbelievers. When it became clear to Ibraaheem that his father was an enemy to Allaah, he freed himself of him.
[Source: Duroos fee Nawaaqidh al-Islaam, p.202-203] (p.90-91 of the English translation)
* * *
And he said, may Allaah preserve him, in a discussion of the permissible ways of interaction with disbelievers:
[4]: It is permissible for us to respond kindly to any kindness that they have shown to us. Allaah, the Exalted One, has said:
"Allaah does not forbid you from being kind and just
with those who have not fought you over the Religion,
nor have they expelled you from your homelands.
Verily, Allaah loves those who are just."
So if they have done something nice for the Muslims, then the Muslims may respond with something nice and compensate them. This is not from the angle of loving them, rather it is only from the angle of compensation.
Furthermore, it is obligatory to be kind to one's disbelieving parents, without loving them. Allaah, the Exalted One, has said:
"And We have admonished mankind regarding his parents.
His mother carried him (in the womb) through hardships
upon hardships, and then he was weaned after two years.
(And We have admonished him) to be grateful to Me,
and to his parents. To Me is the Return."
"And if they strive to make you ascribe partners with Me,
that which you have no knowledge of, then do not obey them,
and accompany them in the worldly life with kindness.
And follow the path of those who repent to Me."
So it is obligatory to be kind to one's parents, even if they are disbelievers, however one may not love them in his heart:
"You do not find any people who believe in Allaah
and the Last Day loving those who have opposed Allaah
and His Messenger, even their own fathers or children."
Loving them is one thing, and good dealings with them is another.
Umm Salamah, the daughter of Aboo Bakr, who was a polytheist, came seeking some money. So Asmaa' went to the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) and said to him, "Verily my mother has come and she is inclined, meaning inclined to re-establish ties, so should I establish ties with her?" He replied,
(( نَعَمْ، صِلِي أُمَّكِ. ))
"Yes, keep ties with your mother."
Thus, worldly affairs, business dealings, compensations, and exchanges (of good treatment) between Muslims and disbelievers in beneficial affairs that do not affect the Religion are permissible. Similarly, diplomatic representation between embassies is also not harmful. The polytheists used to send messengers to the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) to negotiate with him. They would enter upon him while he was in the masjid and negotiate with him. These kinds of affairs are not things that show loyalty, rather they are merely permissible affairs of benefit between the Muslims and the disbelievers.
So it is binding that we make a distinction between this and that. Some people mix up the issues that are permissible with those that are impermissible. From them are those who say, "It is permissible to love the disbelievers, because Allaah has allowed us to interact with them and to marry the Kitaabiyyaat (Jewish and Christian women), so then it is permissible to love them and not make a distinction between us and them." This person has fallen short in his understanding (of hating the disbelievers).
On the other hand, there are people who go overboard (in hating the disbelievers). They are those who say, "It is not permissible to keep any ties whatsoever with the disbelievers, not for the sake of business, not compensation, and not repaying their kindness, as all of these affairs are displays of allegiance."
So we say to them: These affairs are not displays of allegiance. One must make a distinction between the two, between the position of the extremist and that of the neglectful one. The Religion is a middle course, and there is no extremism and no negligence in it.
So it is obligatory on us to be acquainted with these different types of interactions with the disbelievers, and to know which of them are permissible and which are not, especially in this time when there are so many people who speak about affairs of the Religion without knowledge, or they speak about the Religion based on desires.
So it is obligatory on the student of knowledge to know the legislated rulings about these affairs, as it is an important affair, since it is directly related to the Muslim's beliefs.
[Source: Duroos fee Nawaaqidh al-Islaam, p.89-91] (p.110-114 of the English translation)
Moosaa ibn John Richardson
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سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك
أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت
أستغفرك وأتوب إليك
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| rickg
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Abu Hamza Ya'qub bin Rex Gungadoo
(Birmingham, UK)
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Member
Posts: 45
Joined: Sep 2002
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As-salaam-u-alaykum,
jazak Allahu khair brother Moosaa for the post. I think, and the person who posted the original question can confirm or deny, that the part that the questioner is particularly keen to know is whether the fact that the parent *apostated* changes anything to the rulings that you reported which are general to disbelieving parents.
<<Umm Salamah, the daughter of Aboo Bakr, who was a polytheist, came seeking some money. So Asmaa' went to the Messenger of Allaah sallallaahu 'alayhe wa sallam) and said to him, "Verily my mother has come and she is inclined, meaning inclined to re-establish ties, so should I establish ties with her?">>
I'm confused here. How can Umm Salamah be the daughter of Aboo Bakr and also the mother of Asmaa?
Was-salaam
Abu Hamza Ya'qub ibn Rex Gungadoo
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| Asmaa.Umm.Hind
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UmmHind Asmaa Bint Dawud
(DC Metro Area)
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Member
Posts: 4
Joined: Feb 2004
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As Salaamu Alaikum wa Rahmatullahi wa Barakatuhu,
Akhi,
Jazakullahul Khayr for your respond. Wal Hamdulillah it is of great benefit for the many of us who have non-mulsim relative. However,the brother is correct, I was seeking a ruling regarding a parent who apostated from Islam. Is their status different from someone who has never accepted Islam in regards to maintaining the ties of kinship?
Barak Allahu Feek
Wa Salaamu Alaikum
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10-08-2004 @ 5:10 PM
