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Topic: Need to find information on Plural Marriage
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 abu.jameelah.m
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Member
Posts: 88
Joined: Oct 2002
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Where can I find tapes, books, and any articles about plural marriage? What's needed to know is...
1. Special rulings when time for a co-wife don?t have to be made up.
2. How is the time to be spent if one wife has children and the other doesn?t?
3. If the co-wife ask the husband to make a decision which at first he doesn't agree and then gives in and this decision effects him and the second wife?s relationship mentally, physically and financially, how she should handle it and remind them through the Sunnah.
4. If there?s a time one co-wife is sick and this sickness can be passed to the husband intimately which can be passed to the other wife what should she do.
I have many other questions; I just wanted to give examples of the kind of issues in plural marriage
Not from Abu Jameelah
but from a Muslimah in need of answers
This message is Not from Abu Jameelah
but from a Muslimah in need of answers
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| al.akhdar
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Member
Posts: 67
Joined: Sep 2002
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There was a question on the tafseer of this ayah and I thought maybe this may add something to the issue of plural marriage in general.
Allah says in Suratun-Nisaah: 129: ?You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them so as to leave the other hanging. And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.?
Sheikh As-Sa?dee says in the commentery of these verses [pg. 208]: ?Allah, the Most High, informs us that husbands do not have the ability to be completely just between wives, and that is because complete justice requires the presence equal love, attraction, and an inclination of the heart, and then the action this neccessitates, and this is impossible, therefore Allah has pardoned him for what he is not able, and has prohibited him from that which he has the ability with His Statement ((so do not incline too much to one of them so as to leave the other hanging)) meaning do not incline heavily to one [over the other] to the point where you do not give them their obligatory rights, rather do all that is in your power to be just [between them]. So maintenance, clothing, the division of time, ect., it is upon you to be equal between them in these, as opposed to love, sexual intercourse, ect., so if the husband abandons his wife she becomes as if she is suspended, neither divorced so as to marry, nor married where she recieves her rights.? [End of the words of As-Sa?dee]
The Imaam of the people of Tafseer, At-Tabaree, said in his commentary on this verse [9/284]: ?This means: O men! You do not have the power to be equal between your wives in the love for them in your hearts so as to be impartial between them in that, so you will not have the equal amount of love in your hearts for all of them because this is something you have no control over even if it is your ardent desire, but do not let your feelings cause you to completely incline to the one you love more, until it causes you to oppress her co-wives in abandoning their rights from division of time and maintenance, and living with them in kindness, leaving the ones you love less like they are neither married nor divorced.?
Ibn Katheer says in his tafseer [2/392-393]: ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire)) meaning: you will never be able to equate between wives from every perspective, so even if the division of time is equal between them, a night for a night, there will most certainly be inequality in love, desire, and sexual relations, as was said by Ibn Abbaas Ubaidah ibn As-Salmaanee, Mujaahid, Al-Hasan Al-Basree, and Ad-Dahhaak ibn Muzaahim. Ibn Abee Haatim said: ?Abu Zur?ah narrated to us: Ibn Abee Shaybah narrated to us: Al-Hasan Al-Ju?fee narrated to us on the authority of Zaa?idah from Abdul-Azeez ibn Rufi? on the authority of Ibn Abee Mulaikah who said: ?This ayah ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire)) was revealed about Aishah, meaning that the Prophet, Sallallahu alaihi was sallam, loved her more than anyone.?
His statement: ((so do not incline too much to one of them)) meaning: If you incline towards one of them [feelings, sex, love] do not go overboard inclining completely ((so as to leave the other hanging)) meaning: Leave the other suspended. Stated Ibn Abbaas, Mujaahid, Sa?eed ibn Jubair, Al-Hasan, Ad-Dahhaak, Ar-Rabee? ibn Anas, As-Siddee, and Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan: ?It means neither married nor divorced.?
And His statement: ((And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful)) meaning: if you properly place your affairs in order and divide between them justly in what you are able, and fear Allah in all your affairs, Allah will forgive you for your inclining [in the past] to one woman over the other.? [End of the statement of Ibn Katheer]
Imaam Al-Baghawee says in his tafseer [2/295-296]: ?You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives even if it is your ardent desire, so do not incline too much to one of them so as to leave the other hanging. And if you do justice, and do all that is right and fear Allah by keeping away from all that is wrong, then Allah is All-Forgiving, Most Merciful.?
Stated Sulaymaan ibn Yasaar about this ayah on the authority of Ibn Abbaas: ?If she was to give up some of her rights from the division of days, and maitenence, then that is permissible as long as she is pleased with that??
Stated Muqaatil ibn Hayyaan about this ayah: ?A man has under his care an older woman and then marries a young girl, he says to his older wife: ?I will give you a portion of my wealth to give this young girl more days,? so if she agrees then there is no harm, and if she refuses then it is upon him to divide justly between them.?
His statement: ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives)) meaning: you will not be able to be equal in your love, affection, and feelings ((even if it is your ardent desire)) to be equal [in that] ((so do not incline)) to the one you love more ((too much)) in the division of time and maintenance, meaning: do not let your actions follow your feelings ((so as to leave the other hanging)) meaning abandon the other like she is neither single nor married. Qataadah said: ?Like she is imprisoned.? [End of the quote of Al-Baghawee]
Stated Imaam Ash-Shawkaanee in his tafseer [1/665]: ((You will never be able to [perfectly] deal justly between wives)) Allah informs of mens inability to be completely equal between wives from what the nature of the human being is created upon in feelings for one as opposed to the other, more for this one, less for that one, and this is by virtue of their creation that they do not control their hearts.? [End of quote of Ash-Shawkaanee]
So as we see from all the scholars of Tafseer that we quoted from that what is intended by the verse is that a man must be equal in that which he humanly has the ability to be equal in from maintenance and the division of days, but as for him loving one more than the other, being more physically attracted to one over the other, or being more sexually active with one over the other, than this is something that he does not have the ability to be equal in as his heart may incline to one for whatever reason, but as Imaam Al-Baghawee mentioned: ?do not let your actions follow your feelings.? Meaning that just because you may love one more than the other do not allow that to cause you to oppress one with regards to the division of time and maintenance or outward signs that would cause the harm of the feelings of the ones you love less.
As far as the punishment for those who are not just between wives in that which they have the ability, then this comes in the Hadeeth that is collected in the Sunan of Abu Dawud (no. 2133), An-Nisaa?ee in his Sunan (2/157), At-Tirmidhee in his Jaami? (1/213), Ibn Maajah in his Sunan (no. 1969), Ad-Daarimee in his Sunan (2/143),and others, and is authenticated by Al-Muhaddith Al-Albaanee in Irwaa Al-Ghaleel (no. 2017), on the authority of Abu Hurairah who said: The Messenger of Allah said: ?Whoever has two wives and inclines toward one of them [over the other] he will come on the Day of Judgement and one side of his body will be slanted.?
Al-Imaam At-Tirmidhee brings this Hadeeth under the chapter: What has come in the equality between الضرائر (co-wives). Al-Muhaddith Al-Mubaarakfuree says in the explanation of this chapter in Tuhfatul-Ahwadhee [4/247]: ?الضرائر [from the verb ضرّ which means to harm] The co-wives of a man [are called this because] each one of them harms the other with jealousy, and the division [of time]?
He continues: ((He will come on the Day of Judgement and one side of his body will be slanted)) At-Teebee said: meaning one half of him will be slanted so that the members of the families can see him as an addition to the punishment, and this is not limited to the one who has two wives, if he had three or four than this punishment is established.? [End of the quote of Al-Mubaarakfuree]
Al-Muhaddith Al-Adheem Al-Aabaadee says in Awnul-Ma?bud, the explanation of Sunan Abee Dawud on this Hadeeth [6/136]: ((Whoever has two wives)) for example ((and inclines toward one of them [over the other])) meaning he is not just between them rather he shows favoritism to one over the other ((one side of his body will be slanted)) sloping. This Hadeeth is a proof that it is obligatory upon a man to be just between women, and it is prohibited for him to show favoritism to one over the other.? [End of the quote of Al-Aabaadee]
Al-Muhaddith Muhammad ibn Adam Al-Ithyubee says in his explanation of An-Nisaa?ee [28/178-179]: ?Benefits of this Hadeeth: The clarification of the ruling of a man favoring some of his wives over others, and it is impermissible; due to the punishment that is mentioned in the hadeeth.
And from them: The obligation of dividing equally between wives.
And from them: The concern of the Sharee?ah to remove that will cause enmity and hatred between the Ummah, so it prohibited discrimination between wives because that brings about breaking up a man and his family, rather it trancends to the families of the wives, so it is obligatory to avoid that.
And from them: The encouragement to have excellent character, from dividing equally between those the Sharee?ah has commanded to, so it is not permissible to show favoritism to one side over the other unless it is legislated, like if one of the wives is a slave, then it is not obligatory to be equal between her and the freed wife in division, rather she gets half of the days that are given to the freed wife, and Allah knows best.
He goes on to quote Al-Qurtubee in how the man should make the division: He says (Al-Qurtubee): ?As for how he should divide, then there is no difference of opinion that he should give each of them their night alone, and many of the scholars say the day, and some of them are of the opinion of the obligation of this is at night, not during the day, and he should not enter upon one on them on the other ones night, unless there is a need to, and they differ with regards to his entering with a need or nessecity, and the majority of them are of the opinion that it is permissible, Imaam Maalik and others. And in the book of Ibn Habeeb he prohibits it. And he is just between them in maintenance, and clothing if they are equal in status, not if they are of different stations.?
Al-Muhaddith Muammad ibn Adam says after quoting Al-Qurtubee: ?This statement of Al-Qurtubee about not having to be equal between them if they are of different status needs proof specifying it with the general proofs of the obligation of equality in division [of time and maintenance].? [End of the quote of Ibn Adam]
There has come in the authentic sunnah many proofs of a man loving one wife more than the others, one for example is what come in the Sunan of An-Nisa?ee in the chapter: A man loving some of his wives more than others. The Hadeeth on the authority of Ai?shah who said: ?The wives of the Messenger of Allah sent Faatimah the daughter of the Messenger of Allah to the Prophet and she sought permission to enter, so when she entered he was laying with me on my Mirt (type of wool garment) so she said: ?O Messenger of Allah! Indeed your wives sent me to you asking for equality with the daughter of Abu Quaafah (Aishah).? And I remained quiet. So the Prophet said to her: ?O my daughter! Do you not love the one I love?? She said: ?Of course.? He said: ?Then love this one??
Muhammad ibn Adam says in the explanation of this Hadeeth [28/187-188]: ?((O Messenger of Allah! Indeed your wives sent me to you asking for equality with the daughter of Abu Quaafah (Aishah))) Imaam An-Nawawee said: ?Its meaning is that they are asking you to be equal in the love in your heart, as the Prophet used to be just between them with maintenance and nights, ect, but as for the love of his heart then he used to love Aishah more than the others, and the there is a consensus of the Muslims that is is not upon him to love them all the same because no one has power over that except Allah, and He only commanded with equality in actions.? [End of quote]
أهل الحديث هم أهل النبي وإن
لم يصحبوا نفسه أنفاسه صحبوا
Abul-Hasan Malik Adam Al-Akhdar
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| MSbN.Ahmad
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Member
Posts: 63
Joined: Sep 2002
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Assalaamu'alaykum
JazaakAllaahu khayr for the beneficial post. Is there any basis for the saying that the wives having children affects the distribution of time amongst them, that is, those having more children are entitled to more time than those having fewer or no children. I have heard this saying from Salafees and wondered if there was a sound basis for it. Baarak Allaahu feekum.
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25-12-2003 @ 6:45 PM
