Member
Posts: 16
Joined: Feb 2009
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Question:
One of my relatives has come to me for the purpose of marriage but I heard to marry from non-relatives is preferred for the sake of the future of the children and other reasons. What is your opinion on this matter?
Answer:
The principle has been stated by a number of scholars. It points to the fact that genetics and heredity has an effect. There is no doubt that genetics has an effect on the physical and psychological make-up of a person.
This is shown in the hadith where a man came to the Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) and said, 'My wife has given birth to a black child. ý ( He was opposing that child as all of his ascendants were of light skin.) .
The Messenger of Allah (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) told him, 'Do you own camels?ý He said, ' Yes.ý The Prophet (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) said, ' What colour are they? ý He said, 'Red.ý The Prophet (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) asked him, 'Is there a dusky one among them ? ý He said, 'Yes.ý The Prophet (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) then said , 'How has that come about ? ý The man replied , 'It is perhaps due to the strain to which it has reverted .ý So the Prophet (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) told him , 'Perhaps that son of yours is due to the strain to which it is reverted. ý [1]
This is evidence that genetics does have an effect and there is no doubt about it. However, the Prophet (sallallaahu ýalaihi-wasallam) also said,
'A women is married for [any of] four reasons: for her wealth, for her lineage, for her beauty or for her religion. So try to marry one who is religious, may your hands be smeared with dust. ý [2]
Therefore, the most important matter in proposing to a women is her piety. The more religious she is and the more beautiful she is then the better she is, regardless if she be a close relative or distant [non-] relative.
The religious women will protect the manýs wealth, children, and house. Beauty fulfils his needs and lowers his gaze and he will not look to others. And Allah knows best.
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[1] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
[2] Recorded by al-Bukhari and Muslim.
Shaykh Muhammad bin Saalih al-`Uthaymeen
Islamic Fatawa Regarding Women - Darussalam Pg.187-188.
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AsmabintUmran
10-02-2009 @ 1:40 PM
