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umm.katheer
10-19-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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as salaamu alaikum
bismillah ir-rahman ir-rahim
i'm intended to a righteous brother alhumdulillah..but my mother doesn't want me to marry him for no reasoning at all. she says that she wants me to finish my high schooling first, but i told her that i am afraid that my temptation will interfere and that i want to fear and obey allah and not committ zina [rest of sentence deleted].

does my mother have the right to tell me to wait or can i go against her word and marry with my fathers permission?

This message was edited by Admin on 10-20-02 @ 12:53 AM

Moosaa
10-19-2002 @ 12:00 AM    Notify Admin about this post
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Last Wednesday, I just discussed this issue with Shaykh Muhammad 'Umar Baazmool.

I was in class (not his) and a discussion was going on about marriage.  The students were talking about common sins that the youth are falling into as a result of waiting so long to get married.  The Saudis typically get married around 25!

So I saw it fit to remind them that marriage is WAAJIB on the one who is falling into or may fall into sins due to remaining single.  It seems like something impossible to suggest this to second-year college students here.  They all responded that they could not get married until they are 25 and that their parents all insist on this.

So I replied with our principle in the Deen, that since marriage is waajib on such a person who falls into sin, then it is haraam to obey the parents and wait to marry if they are able.  Laa taa'ata limakhlooqin fee ma'siyatil-khaaliq, There is no obedience to the creation in disobedience to the Creator.  The students all seemed shocked at my statement, that it is not permissible to obey their parents in this situation (for the one who falls into sin or fears falling into sin).

So, I went to Shaykh Muhammad Baazmool and explained the discussion to him and asked him if there was something wrong with what I said.  He was actually very happy to hear that I said this, and he said that this is in agreement with what the scholars say in this regard.  He also mentioned that he is happy to find out that he himself has given an answer that is in total correspondence to the answers of the scholars.

Anyway, the point here is that if you feel you are going to fall into sin if you don't get married, then marriage is WAAJIB on you in the Religion.  You should try very hard to get your parents permission so as to not cause problems between you and them, but if they do not grant it, you must still get married if you are able.  Until then, fasting is a shield.  

And of course I am not saying that you go and get a walee from the masjid!!!  Your father is your walee.  Do your best to convince your parents of the importance of you marrying soon, stressing the dangers that their daughter may fall into.  May Allaah grant you success.

Abul-'Abbaas

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سبحانك اللهم وبحمدك
أشهد أن لا إله إلا أنت
أستغفرك وأتوب إليك






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